Le Coeur Vivant
by LadyJezebel
Summary: Seven years ago, he left her in the meadow. Now he returns to find that she isn't the same Bella anymore and that maybe, just maybe, he can be human again. Full Summary Inside.
1. Prelude

**Title (and meaning):  
**Le Coeur Vivant. (The Living Heart).

**Full Summary:**  
Edward Cullen fell in love with a human. He fell in love with Bella Swan. But the day he revealed himself to her completely, was the day that he realized how much he needed to leave her. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant hurting himself. So he left her in the meadow.  
Now, seven years later, he has lost a battle within himself. He did not want to go back to Forks. He did not want to see her in her new life. But his undead heart has gotten the better of him.  
How will the new, twenty four year old Bella react when the forever seventeen year old lover of her youth returns? And how will Edward deal with the fact that not only is Bella happy, but she's also a wife and a mother of a two year old son?  
And the biggest question of all arises; When a vampire is changed, can he ever be changed back?

**Disclaimer:**  
I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I do not own any of these characters. Unfortunately.

**My Rule:  
**We all know that most readers skip over stories with a low amount of reviews. So I have a rule when it comes to all of my stories.  
Three reviews or the next chapter is not posted. I don't do this to be mean, I just think it's nice. Reviews don't have to be mega long. A simple "I liked it" is good enough for me.

**Author's Note:  
**If you are a reader of 'The Words of Reality', I know you are probably wanting to kill me right now. I stand by my recent statement that I will not give up on that story. But honestly, I am having a bit of writer's block with it right now. So until I can get back on my feet with that story, I am putting it on hiatus. I'm sorry, but it must be done.  
So if I'm having such a hard time with that one, some of you must be wondering why the hell I'm putting up another. As most of you writer's know, the writing process can be very stupid sometimes. At random moments, a six foot tall plot monster will just pop in and hammer at your mind until you begin to write. That is what has happened with this story. I was sitting on my couch today, actually reading another story, when out of nowhere, this idea lodged itself into my brain and I could not get it out. So, to appease my mind, I sat down and started to write out a plot. I literally sat and wrote for over an hour. Just on my ideas for the story. I pretty much wrote out everything that happens in detail. So I know everything about this story as of now. I'm not sure how long it will be, or the amount of time that it takes me to write it. I'm not even sure how often I will update. But I welcome you to Le Coeur Vivant. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Le Coeur Vivant**  
**Prelude**

_"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't so afraid."_

_"I don't want you to be afraid." His voice was just a soft murmur. I heard what he couldn't truthfully say, that I didn't need to be afraid, that there was nothing to fear._

_"Well, that's not exactly the fear that I meant, although that's certainly something to think about."_

_So quickly that I missed the movement, he was half sitting, propped up on his right arm, his left palm still in my hands. His angel's face was only a few inches from mine. I might have -- should have -- flinched away from his unexpected closeness, but I was unable to move. His golden eyes mesmerized me._

_"What are you afraid of then?" He whispered intently._

_But I couldn't answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling._

_And he was gone, his hand ripped from mine. In the time it took my eyes to focus, he was twenty feet away,  
standing at the edge of the small meadow, in the deep shade of a huge fir tree. He stared at me, his eyes dark in the shadows, his expression unreadable._

_I could feel the hurt and shock on my face. My empty hands stung._

_"I'm...sorry...Edward." I whispered. I knew he could hear._

It was in that moment that I made a decision that would change the rest of our lives. It was in that moment that I realized she cared too deeply for me. My insides twisted at the thought of what that would mean. I wanted her to love me because I loved her. The dead heart in my chest lay waiting to be revived by the human girl that had captured it. But I couldn't let this happen. She was too close already. I could kill her at any moment. Why couldn't she have just realized that? I didn't want to end her life. I didn't want to lose her. But if losing her was what it would take to keep her safe, then I would make that sacrifice.

Seven years ago I heard her whisper those words across that meadow. Seven years ago I turned my back and decided that it was safer for me to leave. I was her perfect predator. Everything about me drew her in. My scent, my appearance, the way I spoke. I was a monster. I was Bella's monster.

Seven years ago I made the choice not to return to her. I turned my back and ran through the forest back to my home, packed up my belongings, hugged my family goodbye and left. I knew it would hurt her at first, but it would be better for her in the long run. I couldn't take the risk of hurting her. She would find someone new eventually.  
She would be happy. She would have a future. She would continue on and eventually forget about me.

So with that thought in mind, I left Forks and everything it had to offer me. I left the teenage human sitting alone in the meadow. I left my future and my un-beating heart behind.

It didn't matter if it hurt me. It was for her.

It was all for her.


	2. The Hunt

**Title (and meaning):  
**Le Coeur Vivant. (The Living Heart).

**Full Summary:**  
Edward Cullen fell in love with a human. He fell in love with Bella Swan. But the day he revealed himself to her completely, was the day that he realized how much he needed to leave her. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant hurting himself. So he left her in the meadow.  
Now, seven years later, he has lost a battle within himself. He did not want to go back to Forks. He did not want to see her in her new life. But his undead heart has gotten the better of him.  
How will the new, twenty four year old Bella react when the forever seventeen year old lover of her youth returns? And how will Edward deal with the fact that not only is Bella happy, but she's also a wife and a mother of a two year old son?  
And the biggest question of all arises; When a vampire is changed, can he ever be changed back?

**Disclaimer:**  
I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I do not own any of these characters. Unfortunately.

**My Rule:  
**We all know that most readers skip over stories with a low amount of reviews. So I have a rule when it comes to all of my stories.  
Three reviews or the next chapter is not posted. I don't do this to be mean, I just think it's nice. Reviews don't have to be mega long. A simple "I liked it" is good enough for me.

**Author's Note:  
**I want thank all of my loyal readers for supporting my decision to put WoR on hiatus and for posting this new story. You guys mean a lot to me. And so do the new readers I've gotten. :) I love you guys.  
Thanks to the reviewers; verilla, Mediana, chaosRUBEDO, edward rox my soxx, Ligeia333, LaTuACanTantE00mySinGer, and Miichael. Also thanks to those that have added me/the story to your favorites/alerts list. It means a lot.  
And just a side note, not to get political, but to answer a question from my dear friend Ligeia; no Edward does not get shot by Sarah Palin. haha.  
Love you guys.

LadyJezebel.

* * *

**Le Coeur Vivant  
Chapter One  
The Hunt**

I lay back on my couch and sighed. It was raining tonight. I hated the rain. It left memories of a broken heart flooding through my mind. It made me think too much and question my decisions. I ran a hand through my hair, then dropped it back down beside me. It slid off the couch and hung there, like a lifeless limb. I didn't care. I didn't bother to lift my arm back up. It was nights like this when I wished that I were no longer on this earth. Nights when my eyes are clouded and only one image finds a way to seep into my line of vision. One image that refuses to fade away.

I heard the constant buzz of my cell phone in the pocket of my jacket that lay somewhere unnoticed. It didn't matter anyway. I wasn't going to answer it. I didn't have any responsibilities. I didn't have a job. I knew who was calling and I knew what they would want. But I wasn't going to answer it. I had no urge to speak to anyone.

The rain was loud against the windows. The monotonous pounding and pattering against the glass gave the empty apartment a ghostly feel. The television was on, some random show playing, the volume muted. I wasn't watching it anyway. I never did. The visions on the screen flashed by without words, painting the walls and my skin with a vast multitude of colors. It was providing the only light as night creeped in and I let myself be immersed in darkness.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my middle and index finger. I squeezed hard, wishing for any kind of pain that wasn't in my chest. But the hurt didn't come. I growled out loud and rolled over onto my side. My eyes quickly focused themselves on the glint that came off of the coffee table. The light from the television was shining on my keys. They taunted me and begged for me to put them to use. But I had refused them for so long. I wouldn't use them in the way that they begged to be used. I refused to go back to Forks.

Thunder shattered outside the walls and I sat up. I needed to move. I needed to feel human again. But I hadn't felt human in years.

I walked out of my living room, through the empty kitchen, and into the bathroom. The walls were bare, no hygiene products. No smelly shampoos. Nothing that would insinuate that any kind of person lived here. I flicked the light switch, squinting as an automatic reaction to the sudden light. I placed my hands on the sink, careful not to exert too much pressure, as I would shatter it to be pieces, and dared to look at myself in the mirror. My reflection was scary, even to me. My skin was pale, ice cold to the appearance, my cheeks a bit sunken in, and my eyes. They were a hard, coal black. I hadn't been outside in so long. I hadn't given in to the hunger that fought within me. I desperately needed to feed.

I clicked off the light and walked back into the living room. My phone continued to buzz in the jacket that I now realized was hanging off the back of a chair. I sighed and pulled it out of the pocket. Flipping the silver thing open, I saw a name that only confirmed my recent suspicions of the caller.

"Hello?" I asked wearily.

"Edward, why the hell have you not been answering your phone?"

"I'm sorry, Alice. I lost my phone and just found it."

"Right. So you lost your phone three days ago? What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Well, now that I have your attention, I have something to tell you. I had this vision," Oh great. Another vision. "And I can't believe I'm saying this, but you were-"

"Alice, I don't have time for this right now. I'm getting ready to go hunt."

"But, Edw-"

"Sorry."

I closed the phone and threw it onto the chair. I didn't mean to be rude to my sister. I was just not in any kind of mood to have a casual chat right now.

I slumped back down onto the couch and eyed my car keys. I really did need to hunt. I could feel the thirst boiling up in me like a lion ready to attack. If I let it go any longer, I wouldn't be able to resist the smell and temptation of my neighbors. I didn't want to go out, but it was for the safety of everyone around me. I looked at my keys again and decided to leave them. I wouldn't trust myself if I took my car. It would be too easy to just drive right on out of this town and keep going.

I got up and sauntered over to the two windows that separated me from the rest of the world. I opened them quickly, my nostrils automatically taking in the scent of rain and human blood. I could smell the people so easily. The moisture in the air carried their scent well. I could feel myself inching towards the idea of feasting on the mortal. This was not okay. I stuck my head outside, my hair catching the falling rain like a magnet, and glanced left, then right, and then down, making sure there were no people outside and that those in view of the hill outside my window had their own windows covered with curtains. When I was satisfied that I would not be seen, I perched myself on the windowsill and leapt out into the night, landing with a soft thud upon the wet embankment. I ran quickly, letting instinct take me over. Soon, I was far enough away from the main part of town and surrounded by tall trees, deep inside the forest.

I soon picked up the scent of an animal and let my nose lead the way. I silently snuck up on my prey, the large buck didn't have a clue that I was about to take it. I leapt at it with fury, angry that I had let myself go so long without a drink. I pounced onto to its back, taking it to the forest floor, and sank my teeth into its neck before it even realized that it was in danger. I ignored the fur and the wild flavor as the blood flowed into my mouth and down my throat. I was so hungry that I drained the poor beast in mere seconds.

I stood up, ready to find my next meal, and looked down at the dead, lifeless animal. This was my life. This is how I had to survive. It was for this reason that I left Bella all those years ago. The dead body laying on the ground surrounded by broken limbs and crumpled leaves could have easily been hers. My mind wandered as I searched for another animal to satisfy my thirst.

When I left Forks, I didn't know where to go. I was torn and confused and had to fight with myself to keep from just turning back and giving in to my human desires. It took everything I had to not just go back to her. My Volvo was loaded down with everything that I could have fit into it. I drove around for a while, not knowing what to do. Finally, I decided that I needed the company of someone else. If I stayed in the silver car with nothing but my own thoughts and the road ahead, I would go crazy. I needed another voice, though none would comfort me like hers.

So I went to Alaska. I stayed with Tanya and the others for a little over year. I'm not sure I how I even lasted that long. I loved them, I really did. They were like family to me. They helped me out and provided me a place to rest my head, although sleep was unnecessary. I was thankful to them, really. But Tanya did not help to clear my restless mind. I knew she still ached to be with me. I knew she was hurt that I didn't want her. I felt bad for hurting her, especially when her thoughts were so open and unavoidable.

I needed to get away from her mind, so when Carlisle called to inform me that they had left Forks and had gotten a new place in a new town, I jumped at the chance. I packed up and left Alaska, giving quick goodbyes, and by the next morning, I was with my family again. It felt good to be surrounded by their familiar faces and their supportive thoughts.

I did good for that first year. I tried my best not to think of her. I focused on other things, trying to keep her scent and the image of her brown eyes out of my mind. I soon got an apartment of my own and was immersed in independence. But with that independence came the loneliness that I had been fighting to keep away. I started to wonder how much I had hurt her. How she was doing, if she had found someone else.

The years passed and her memory flooded my mind and my heart with no sympathy. I could think of nothing but her. She invaded my every thought, my every move. I was living in regret, in pain. Why couldn't I have been what she had wanted? Why could I have not been like those other high school boys, human, safe, and able to give her everything that she had needed? Why couldn't I touch her, kiss her, make love to her, without the fear of killing her in the process?

My cold fingers and stone lips ached to touch her warm skin. But that could never happen.

Isabella Swan was my life, whether she was a part of it or not. And I don't think that that would ever change.

I walked away from the mountain lion, suddenly realizing that I had gotten further out of town that I had planned. I ran back through the trees, feeling the warm blood seeping through my entire being. I ran as fast as I could, longing for soft cushions of the big couch and the empty walls of my apartment. I was soaked from head to toe, my clothes clinging to every inch of my body.

I jumped back through the window, more graceful than when I had left. Now that I wasn't so hungry, I had more self control and balance. I shut the window, closing out the rest of the world. Water droplets fell to the floor and my shoes left muddy spots on the white carpet. I went into my bedroom and quickly changed into dry clothes.

I didn't squint when I flicked on the bathroom light again. I went to the mirror to judge the changes in my appearance. My eyes were clearer, warmer, golden. My cheeks seemed a little pinker and I looked more alive. I looked like I could almost be human, with my hair still sticking to my wet forehead. This was the man that Bella Swan fell in love with. This was the Edward Cullen that she had wanted.

I didn't turn the bathroom light off this time. I just walked straight into the living room, pulled my jacket on, and placed the phone back in the pocket. My fingers laced around the key ring on the coffee table.

I didn't think twice before I opened the door, walked down the stairs and got into my car.


	3. Another Morning

**Title (and meaning):  
**Le Coeur Vivant. (The Living Heart).

**Full Summary:**  
Edward Cullen fell in love with a human. He fell in love with Bella Swan. But the day he revealed himself to her completely, was the day that he realized how much he needed to leave her. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant hurting himself. So he left her in the meadow.  
Now, seven years later, he has lost a battle within himself. He did not want to go back to Forks. He did not want to see her in her new life. But his undead heart has gotten the better of him.  
How will the new, twenty four year old Bella react when the forever seventeen year old lover of her youth returns? And how will Edward deal with the fact that not only is Bella happy, but she's also a wife and a mother of a two year old son?  
And the biggest question of all arises; When a vampire is changed, can he ever be changed back?

**Disclaimer:**  
I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I do not own any of these characters. Unfortunately.

**My Rule:  
**We all know that most readers skip over stories with a low amount of reviews. So I have a rule when it comes to all of my stories.  
Three reviews or the next chapter is not posted. I don't do this to be mean, I just think it's nice. Reviews don't have to be mega long. A simple "I liked it" is good enough for me.

**Author's Note:  
**So's.....this chapter would have been up sooner had someone not prevented me from getting online. You guys have been good to this story so far, and I want to thank you for that. I love all of your reviews. They fill me with hope. :)  
Thanks to the reviewers; Michaela, Katie, chaosRUBEDO, PerkyTurkeyBaby, slimjimjerky, verilla, polyphany, GiniVampire, and my lovely and beautiful brat prince, Ligeia333. (I'm not playing favorites, she's just my best friend. hehe. I love you!)  
Also, thanks to those that have added me/the story to your favorites/alerts lists.  
Oh, also, if you haven't seen the movie (amazing), or if you have seen the movie and didn't hear Robert Pattinson's song "Never Think", you should look it up! I'm listening to it right now. I swear, I think I am in love with it. haha.

LadyJezebel.

* * *

**Le Coeur Vivant  
Chapter Two  
Another Morning  
**

I rolled over, sighing into my pillow. I buried my face into the cushiony fabric, fighting against the urge to open my eyes. I was awake, but I didn't want to be. I wanted to sleep longer, to lose myself in my dreams again. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and pull me close. I knew my husband wasn't awake yet, but he pulled me against his body easily. He was such a cuddle slut. I giggled a little at my thoughts and finally put up a white flag and surrendered. I glanced over at my alarm clock and inwardly groaned. I had woken up an hour before schedule. The button made a small click as I shut the alarm off and rolled over to place a small kiss on the forehead of the half nude man that lay next to me. I would make breakfast and wake him up a little early so that he could eat.

I was thankful for not throwing my feet over the side of the bed too quickly when I heard a small gurgle come up from the floor. I looked down to see the adorable face of my two year old son, his plump little hands reaching up towards me.

"Oh my word, Masen!" I pulled him up to me and cradled him close, worry taking over me. "How did you get out of your crib?"

A little dribble of spit spilled over his lips and he started blowing little bubbles with it. I laughed quietly and kissed him on the cheek. I glanced over to make sure we hadn't woken up the daddy. He was still sleeping soundly, his mouth parted, and a slight snore erupting from his lips.

"Come on, let's go made Daddy some breakfast!" I whispered. He giggled as I made a funny face.

Holding onto him tightly, I walked out of my bedroom and unlatched the guard from the top of the stairs. I was thankful for it being there, as Masen was obviously able to get out and about now. I was worried of his little show this morning. The thought of him being able to get out his crib somehow, especially before one of us were awake, was scary. He was my first and only child and I didn't want anything happening to him.

I sat him down on a blanket on the living room floor and ruffled the small amount of blond hair that dusted his small head. I flipped through the channels attempting to find a cartoon that I thought was acceptable. So many children's shows today were either completely stupid, flat out scary, or just so annoying that I couldn't stand the sound of them. I settled on Pecola, an odd little show about a square penguin, and set the remote on top of the television so that he wouldn't be able to get to it. He liked to suck and slobber on things.

I put a couple toys in front of him, in case his attention diverted, and made my way into the kitchen area. He was directly in my line of sight, as the only thing separating the kitchen and living room was a small bar.

Turning on the stove, I grabbed a carton of eggs out the refrigerator and a pack of frozen sausage from the freezer. I cracked a couple of eggs and put them in a bowl, adding a couple of extra ingredients, before whipping them up with a fork. When I was sure the burner was at proper temperature, I placed a pan on the little round area and prepared it for the eggs.

I glanced up quickly to check on my son and was met with a beautiful sight. He was laying on his stomach playing with one of his toys.

I had only been married for a year before I found out that I was pregnant. I was really scared at first, afraid of being a mother, but soon enough, I grew to love my growing belly. I tried to be the perfect pregnant woman. I checked out every motherhood book from the library and tried to do everything right. I stayed as healthy as possible, not even letting myself have a cup of coffee or tea because of the caffeine.

The nine months were a struggle. Although I'd done everything right, or tried to anyway, my stomach seemed to stretch beyond imagination and my feet swelled up so bad that I couldn't even put shoes on. I had to wear flip flops for far too long. One night, at just seven months, I started having contractions. The doctors were able to put the labor off, but I was put on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy due to other complications.

Two weeks before my actual due date, I went in for a check up and the next morning, I sat with a baby in my arms. He was big and healthy, but a cesarean had to be performed because somehow the umbilical chord had ended up around his neck.

Mike and I had thought about names but we couldn't think of one that we could agree on. We even bought books. Finally, a name came creeping back into my mind. Something from my teenage years. Masen. As much as I fought against Edward's memory, I had to admit that the name was perfect. Mike agreed, but of course he had no idea that it was the original last name of my first love. I was sure that he wouldn't enjoy that simple fact too well.

The only problem with naming my son after a vampire, was that sometimes when I looked at him and I saw Mike's face, Edward's would come pushing through my mind.

After he left, or disappeared would describe it better, I was hurt. There was no better way to explain it. I sat for two hours in that meadow. Silent, still. Waiting for him to come back. I couldn't believe that he was really gone. Something must have happened. Something must have kept him from me that day. I refused to believe that he would just leave without a word. We had worked so hard to get where we were that day. There was no way that he would just leave me.

But he did. It took me forever to find my way back to the truck. After walking for nearly an hour, I became panicked and started running. I turned myself around a thousand times and fell over fallen tree branches more times than anyone could ever count. Sometime after dark, I escaped from the forest two miles from my truck and covered in scrapes, cuts, and deep scratches. The bruises would come later. I walked, exhausted, back to my truck and left for home.

Charlie was furious when he saw the state I was in. Even though he had no idea that I had been with Edward that day, I covered for him and kept his secret. I told my father that I had become bored and decided to go off and make an attempt at a hike. He was angry with me and forbade me to ever go into the forest alone again. I happily agreed. After our confrontation, I went upstairs, took a shower, and then sank into my bed in tears. Sleep didn't come easily, but when it did, it took over hard. I didn't dream that night.

Ending up with Mike was unexpected and not welcomed. He and Jessica ended their relationship soon after they began dating and we found comfort in each other. I stopped avoiding moments alone with him and started going out when he invited me. I was angry when I started having feelings for him. I didn't want to like Mike.

Jessica began hating me and stopped talking to me completely. She made my last year of high school an utter hell on earth. After graduation, she took a trip to New York and never came back.

Angela Weber became my best friend and stood by my side. Since the day I helped her and Jessica find their dresses in Port Angeles, she was the only female that I could stand to be around. We still remained friends to this day and had just opened a bookstore together.

Mike and I dated for three years before he got down on his knee. We didn't prolong the engagement, as neither of us wanted a large wedding. We married quickly and a year later, we were expecting.

I never gave up on Edward. As much as I had wanted to hate him, as much pain as he had caused me, I couldn't give up on him. Yes, I married and started a family. I'd moved on, but I could never stop looking out the window, or searching the small streets for a shiny silver Volvo. I kept dreaming and waiting. I was sure that someday he would return.

"Hold on, Baby." I called into the living room as Masen started to cry.

I quickly placed two plates of eggs and sausage on the table, along with a bowl of fruit, and picked up the little boy, wrapping my arms around him and bouncing him on my hip.

"Come on, lets go wake Daddy up."

By the time we reached the top of stairs, his cries has quietened down and he was soon giggling, as kids do. Silently, I carried him into my bedroom and placed him upon the mattress. He crawled straight to my husband and started patting him on the cheek. I laughed softly at the image of our son.

Mike groaned and opened his eyes, smiling at the baby face that was so close to his own. He rubbed his cheek and placed a kiss to his forehead.

"Hey, beautiful." He said, untangling himself from the blankets and sheets. He picked Masen up and then touched his lips to my own.

"Good morning. I have breakfast ready."

"Okay. I'll be down in a minute. I'm gonna shower real fast."

"Okay, but hurry before it gets cold."

He handed our son over and started to walk out of the bedroom. I swatted his butt quickly and he turned around to kiss me again, harder this time. I smiled into his lips and pulled him close.

"I thought you told me to hurry. Keep acting like that and I won't be down for a while."

I placed my hands over Masen's small ears. "I'll keep it warm for you." I said with a wink.

He laughed and headed off towards the bathroom. I went back to the kitchen and pulled out the high chair. After making sure Masen was seated and strapped in safely, I made a few pieces of toast and grabbed some milk from the refrigerator. I made a small plate for him and grabbed a banana to cut up into small bites. I put the fruit on his tray and filled his sippy cup with milk. He smacked the bananas around for a moment, then realized it tasted good and started mushing pieces into his mouth.

I took a bite of sausage and toast, then spooned some eggs into his mouth. He spluttered them out and like the mother I am, I scooped them up and held them back out for him to take.

I was almost finished with my plate of food when Mike came downstairs, hair wet, and smelling of soap. He was dressed casually and had a smile on his face. He never seemed to be in a bad mood. That was one of the things I loved about him.

"You'd better hurry. You don't have much time."

"Told you not to kiss me like that."

I laughed and spooned out another bite of eggs for Masen.

Mike sat down at the table and began eating.

"Won't hurt to open up a little late."

"But then all your usuals will be mad and start a riot."

Not long after school ended, Mike's father turned the store over to him. I worked there for a while, but quickly realized that I wasn't made for a store like that. So I got a job at the library. I preferred the smell of old books and the endless possibilities of reading material to hiking boots and rock climbing gear.

"When's Jake supposed to get here?" He asked, mouth full of toast.

"In about an hour."

He nodded and continued eating.

When he was finished, he went upstairs to brush his teeth, then kissed me goodbye and left.

I cleaned up the kitchen and wiped off Masen's face, then washed the dishes. I quickly packed up a diaper bag and dressed him in a cute little monkey outfit.

Jake arrived twenty minutes later, knocking on the door. I opened it up and gave him a quick hug.

"Hows my little buddy, today?" He asked, tickling the boy in my arms.

"He's good. He's already had breakfast, so you don't have to worry about that. I've got his snacks packed up for later."

"I know, I know."

Jake and I had remained friends. He never really got over his little crush on me, but finally gave up and realized that it just wasn't going to happen between us. He was a little uneasy and it became very awkward after Mike and I married, but as soon as Masen was born, he fell in love with him. Sometimes he came over just to see him.

Jacob had started his own garage, working as a mechanic. But he was always there for me whenever I needed a babysitter. I was thankful for his friendship.

Every morning I packed up his stuff and sent him out with my dark haired friend. I always packed healthy snacks and juices for him, and Jacob swore that he gave them to him. But every time he returned the snacks were untouched. I knew that he had secretly been giving him the junk food that I had kept from him. I couldn't be angry with Jake though. He was so good to us and didn't have to do what he did. So I ignored his little secret and didn't bring it up.

"Would you mind giving him a bath? He hasn't had one this morning."

"Sure."

"Thanks, Jake." I placed a kiss on his cheek and hugged him again.

"Anytime, Bells."

I gave him a look.

"Sorry, it's a habit."

"It's alright." I sighed. I knew he felt bad for calling me that.

The only other person to call me that had been my father. Charlie has died last year from a sudden heart attack. It was easier now than it had been at the time, but the pain hadn't completely disappeared. We had gotten a lot closer over the years and he was happy when I got married. Sad that I was leaving home, but he had come to love Mike and treated him like a son he never had. Saying that he was ecstatic to be a grandfather was an understatement. He was extremely protective over his grandson and would have shot someone in an instant if he thought they were a danger to Masen.

I missed my father terribly.

Jake left with my son, and after checking the time, I ran upstairs to shower and brush my teeth. I dressed in a soft, dark blue dress. It was light and comfortable and breezy. The weatherman said no rain today, so I slipped on a pair of flip flops. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, not bothering with makeup. The only time I had worn makeup, to this day, was on my wedding day. And that was forced.

I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. Thinking twice, I grabbed my jacket and umbrella, then headed out to my old truck. It was still running, so I saw no reason to get a new car. I loved my truck.

I stopped by the bookstore to make sure Angela was there and that everything was going according to plan, then began my journey to the public library.

Another morning gone by.


	4. Golden Tears

**Title (and meaning):  
**Le Coeur Vivant. (The Living Heart).

**Full Summary:**  
Edward Cullen fell in love with a human. He fell in love with Bella Swan. But the day he revealed himself to her completely, was the day that he realized how much he needed to leave her. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant hurting himself. So he left her in the meadow.  
Now, seven years later, he has lost a battle within himself. He did not want to go back to Forks. He did not want to see her in her new life. But his undead heart has gotten the better of him.  
How will the new, twenty four year old Bella react when the forever seventeen year old lover of her youth returns? And how will Edward deal with the fact that not only is Bella happy, but she's also a wife and a mother of a two year old son?  
And the biggest question of all arises; When a vampire is changed, can he ever be changed back?

**Disclaimer:**  
I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I do not own any of these characters. Unfortunately.

**My Rule:  
**We all know that most readers skip over stories with a low amount of reviews. So I have a rule when it comes to all of my stories.  
Three reviews or the next chapter is not posted. I don't do this to be mean, I just think it's nice. Reviews don't have to be mega long. A simple "I liked it" is good enough for me.

**Author's Note:  
**Not much of an author's note today. Um, hope everyone had an amazing thanksgiving and had lots of great food. :)  
Thanks to the reviewers; PerkyTurkeyBaby, Mediana, fanficlover812, polyphany, EdwardsKitten, slimjimjerky, and OrangeJuice.  
Also, thanks to those that have added me/the story to your favorites/alerts lists. Means alot.

LadyJezebel.

* * *

**Le Coeur Vivant  
Chapter Three:  
Golden Tears**

I arrived in Forks really early the next morning. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to see, but when I got into the town, I realized that it hadn't changed at all. It was still damp and green. I was surprised to find no rain, but the sky was still overcast. I was safe from the sun at least.

I had thought about turning around countless times, but I refused to do so. I knew that if I turned around and changed my mind, that I would never come back. This was my time to see. I had to do this. It had been seven years. Seven long years. If I didn't do this now, I never would. So I drove. I sat in silence for hours as I continued through the long and dreary rain. I lived in Washington, but no where near the small little town that used to hold so much for me.

I could have arrived sooner, but as my thoughts wrapped around my mind, and my heart, I drove slower. For the first time in so many years, I was actually afraid. I was scared to death of what I would find when I reached Forks. There were endless possibilities. Bella could be married or single, in a long term relationship, pregnant or already a mother. She could be living on her own, a successful bachelorette, or still living with Charlie and working as a waitress. For all I knew, she might not have even stayed in Forks. Maybe she moved back to Phoenix, or to somewhere on the east coast. Maybe she wasn't doing good. My leaving could have started off a chain of events that led to her sleeping on a nasty street in New York, peddling for change to pay for the drug addiction she had fallen in to. Maybe she was depressed and hurting.

I shook my head at these thoughts, not wanting to imagine Bella in a situation like that. But an even worse one swam into my heart.

What if Bella was dead? What if something had happened to her? She was really clumsy in high school, there's no way to know if she had fallen or done something to cause her death accidentally. Or maybe, because of me, because I had led her into a painful depression, maybe, just what if, she had taken her own life? How would I be able to deal with that? What would happen if I just showed up and she wasn't there for me to see?

A tear spilled over the brim of my eye and ran down my cheek. Yes, I am a vampire. But I'm still a man. My heart can break and my golden eyes can cry.

There was only one solution. If Bella was dead, then I would die too.

I drove through the sleepy town, avoiding early morning buses, picking kids up for school. There were only a few other cars on the small roads, teenagers with their driver's licenses, heading towards the home of the Spartans. I couldn't help but think that I was once one of those kids, pretending to be seventeen, off to another day as a normal teenager.

I followed main street, and let my memory guide me to Charlie's house. There wasn't a police cruiser in sight. No sign that he lived there. Instead, there was a minivan in the drive way and two kids in thick coats running out to stand by the road. What happened to Bella's father? Had he retired? Was Bella still living in the house? Were these her children? Or maybe Charlie had retired and gotten remarried. That was possible. The kids could be Bella's new sisters, or stepsisters.

I slowed almost to a stop outside the house, curious. Not long after the kids came bounding out of the door, a black headed woman came out after them. I saw the resemblance in their features. This was obviously their mother. When she was standing with her children, I pulled over to the curb, and got out, standing beside my car with the door still open. I shouldn't do this.

"Excuse me, Miss." I called. She looked around for a second, then realized I was speaking to her. She smiled at me. I suddenly wondered if I was doing the dazzling thing by accident. "Does Charlie Swan live here?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"You wouldn't happen to know where he lives would you?" Small town, I figured she would know.

"No." She shook her head. "We just moved here a few weeks ago. I don't know anyone by that name."

"Oh, I'm and old friend of his daughters. This used to be their home. I'm sorry for bothering you." I waved goodbye to her and started to get back into my car.

"Wait! There was a man that owned this house before me. I don't know his name or if he had a daughter, but it might be the man you're speaking of." Her face fell. "I heard that he passed away though."

She had to be wrong. Charlie couldn't be dead.

"Okay, thanks for your help."

I got back into my car and pulled away from the curb. I continued to drive down the street, but as I looked in the rear view mirror, I could see the children getting onto the school bus, and the black haired woman watching me drive away.

I rode around town for a few minutes, searching through the minds of random people, not finding anything in their minds that would help me with my search. I became frustrated quickly and ignored my phone when it started to ring in the pocket of my jacket that lay in the passenger seat. I knew that i was probably Alice trying to fill my head with her visions again. I couldn't stand my own thoughts. I didn't want to hear hers too.

The cell phone continued to ring for twenty minutes. I drove around thoughtlessly. Finally, giving up, I decided to answer it. But the ringing stopped. A second later, my phone beeped, informing me that I had a new voice mail. I pulled it out, flipped it open, and went to my voice mail without taking my eyes off the road. I put it to my ear and was soon met with the voice of my sister. Predictable. What I didn't expect, was what she said.

"Blue house, white shutters. Don't do anything stupid."

And that was it.

Blue house. White shutters.

Too bad she didn't see the street name.

I drove around for a few more minutes and looked at every house I passed. I went throughout the entire main part of town. I didn't see a blue house anywhere. Finally, after going a little ways passed the town's limits, I saw it. A blue house, with white shutters. The old red truck that Bella used to drive was sitting in the driveway. But there was also a black Sunfire sitting next to it. Maybe the truck had finally broken down and she'd gotten another? That's what I let myself believe.

I turned around and drove for fifteen minutes, finally parking my car off the road, in a gravel area surrounded by trees. I grabbed my jacket and phone and ran back to the house.

I walked silently through the trees that surrounded the two story. A few drops of water, surely stuck on leaves, fell and dripped into my hair. I wiped the water off as it slid onto my forehead and sat down between two large tree trunks. I was in perfect view of the front door. I would see her if she left. This was it.

About twenty minutes later, the front door opened. But it wasn't Bella.

It was Mike fucking Newton. I almost didn't recognize him, as his blond hair had gotten darker and all the roundness of childhood had left his features. He had a strong jawline and smiling lips. I could see the glint of a silver band on his ring finger. No. Absolutely not. I blocked out his thoughts, not wanting to hear.

He got into the black car and pulled out, driving off. I was confused and a little hurt, but I sat for a while longer. I couldn't hide my surprise as the rain stayed away.

The minutes passed by slowly as I sat there, watching, waiting for any sign of my Bella. Eventually, another car pulled into the driveway and dark haired and dark skinned man got out. Jacob Black. He was still hanging around? He and Bella had stayed in contact with one another for this long? He knocked on the door, then looked around, waiting. The door opened quickly and he was ushered inside. I was disappointed. I didn't even see an arm.

I sighed out loud. What was going on? How was she living her life now? I couldn't help, as I waited for him to come back out, but think of some of the stupid movies I had seen over the years. Husband, (I inwardly cringed at the word), leaves the house for work, wife left behind, another man shows up and she pulls him inside quickly before the neighbors can see.

I shook the thoughts out of my head. Bella wasn't the kind of girl who would cheat on her partner. But, just as I thought this, I sighed again. Bella wasn't a girl anymore. She was a woman. I hadn't seen her grow. I hadn't been in her life. For all I knew, she was that kind of woman.

I couldn't help but suck in a breath in shock as he walked back out with a little boy in his arms. She was a mother.

I sank down into the wet forest floor, my head falling into my hands. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have done this. I would forever hate myself for making this decision. I left her all those years ago and I should have left it this way.

When Jacob was gone, after putting the baby into a car seat and buckling him in, I stood up, getting ready to just turn and run away. I paused for a moment, deciding if it was really what I wanted to do. Run away without seeing her. Run away without even a small glimpse.

No, I had to see her.

The house was fairly out of the way, so neighbors were nothing to worry about. I slipped out of the trees and snuck around the back of the house, searching. I climbed up one of the trees that stood beside the house and looked into the open window. It was the bathroom.

And she was there.

My heart tore in half as I watched her. Her hair was hanging down, falling just to the middle of her back. Her skin was radiant, glowing. She looked tired, but more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. She brushed her teeth quickly, glanced into the mirror and then walked out. The door was open and I could see straight into her bedroom across the hall.

I jumped down from the tree and ran as fast as I could to the other side of the house. I had wasted that second though, as her bedroom window was closed and the curtains pulled. I returned to my previous tree and sat up high, watching as she searched through her closet. She pulled out a red dress, held it out to get a better look, then put it back inside. Next, she pulled out a blue dress, that she obviously approved of, because she laid it down on her bed. When had she started wearing dresses?

My thoughts were interrupted, and my fingers almost slipped from the branches, as she pulled down her pajama bottoms and stepped out of them, her shirt, landing next to them soon after. She stood beautifully in nothing but a pair of panties. I knew that I should look away, turn my head or something. This wasn't right. She's wasn't mine to watch. It wasn't me that she wanted to be like this in front of.

But I couldn't tear my eyes away. Not even as she pulled a clean pair of panties out of a drawer and slid out of the ones she had been wearing. I couldn't stop watching. Her skin was amazing, her body glorious. She was still small and petite, but if I looked closely, I could see a little pudginess on her stomach. She was a mother and she was absolutely beautiful.

She pulled on all the necessary undergarments, then slid the blue dress over her head. It looked really good on her. The color was good with her skin. I smiled at that thought. Obviously I had been around Alice too much. Here I was, sitting in a tree, watching the girl I loved, the girl I left behind, get dressed. And I was thinking about how the color of her dress looked on her skin tone.

Stupid.

She slid her feet into a pair of flip flops, fixed her hair, then walked out of my sight. I sat for a moment, wondering if she was going to return. A second later, I heard the front door open and then close. I could hear her getting into her truck. The roar of the engine was deafening at she started it and pulled out of the driveway.

I sat still, not moving an inch. I was like a stone. I was in perfect view of her now. If she just glanced up, turned her head, she would see me. I prayed that she didn't look up, scared that she would catch me.

But I couldn't deny that a part of me wanted to be caught.

When I was positive that she was gone, I jumped down and ran back through the trees, wanting to be back in my car. Again, I fought with myself. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have hurt myself by doing this. Seeing her, seeing Mike, seeing that little boy did nothing but shatter my non existent heart into a million pieces.

She was happy, so why wasn't I? That was what I had wanted. That was why I had left her. I should be happy that she had gotten everything out of life that she had wanted. I should be content and glad that I didn't hurt her so bad and that she didn't end up peddling in the New York City streets, or dead. Yes, that was the most important thing. Bella was alive. She was safe. Taken care of.

So why was I in so much pain?

I could answer that easily. Because of Mike Newton.

Mike Newton was everything that I have ever wanted to be. He was the man that got down on one knee, kissed her as she said "I do". He was the one that was able to make love to her and hear her moan, feel her body beneath his fingertips as she lay beneath him. He was the man that got to watch as her belly grew and hold a baby that looked like him.

He was the man that couldn't hurt her.

Mike Newton had everything that I wanted. In his arms, in his heart, he held my entire life.

I turned around, suddenly angry, and punched the trunk of the nearest tree. It shuttered beneath the force of the blow and a multitude of leaves and branches fell to the ground. I sobbed loudly and removed my hand. There was a fist sized hole, half way through the large tree.

I clutched my chest, even though it was empty, and pulled open the door to my car. I crumbled into the seat, falling apart on the leather interior. I was not angry. I was breaking in half.

As I lay there, in the middle of the forest with the early morning air slipping into the vehicle, my heart was absolutely broken and torn. Tears spilled out of my eyes and I cried.

I cried more than I ever had in my long life.


	5. Broken Branches

**Title (and meaning):  
**Le Coeur Vivant. (The Living Heart).

**Full Summary:**  
Edward Cullen fell in love with a human. He fell in love with Bella Swan. But the day he revealed himself to her completely, was the day that he realized how much he needed to leave her. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant hurting himself. So he left her in the meadow.  
Now, seven years later, he has lost a battle within himself. He did not want to go back to Forks. He did not want to see her in her new life. But his undead heart has gotten the better of him.  
How will the new, twenty four year old Bella react when the forever seventeen year old lover of her youth returns? And how will Edward deal with the fact that not only is Bella happy, but she's also a wife and a mother of a two year old son?  
And the biggest question of all arises; When a vampire is changed, can he ever be changed back?

**Disclaimer:**  
I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I do not own any of these characters. Unfortunately.

**My Rule:  
**We all know that most readers skip over stories with a low amount of reviews. So I have a rule when it comes to all of my stories.  
Three reviews or the next chapter is not posted. I don't do this to be mean, I just think it's nice. Reviews don't have to be mega long. A simple "I liked it" is good enough for me.

**Author's Note:  
**Ah, okay. So this update came a little later than I thought it would. Sorry I didn't get it up sooner. Finals. Blah. Stupid college. Anyways, something was pointed out to me in a review. Since this was something that I thought everyone might want an answer to, I have decided to add another little section up here, called Review Replies. I won't reply to every review, but the ones that stick out, or the ones that have questions that I feel need to be answered, will be in there. Okay...so...  
Thanks to all those that have reviewed; abigail-ann-cullen, princess marrosa, slimjimjerky, fanficlover812, LaTuACanTantE00mySinGer, verilla, Mediana, chaosRUBEDO, and PhelpstwinsandElftwins.  
Also, thanks to those have added me/the story to your alerts/favorites lists. Very much appreciated.

**Review Replies:  
**_I don't think vampires cry... _In most things, vampires do not cry. It just depends on the author. Anne Rice for example, her vampire do cry. In Twilight though, we never hear of a vampire crying. But that's okay. This is a fanfiction. So of course, not everything is going to be correct and just like the book. I just felt that those were moments where Edward needed tears. So I gave them to him. So just so everyone knows, from here on out, the vampires in this story do cry. :) I was actually wondering when someone was going to point that out. haha.

LadyJezebel.

* * *

**Le Coeur Vivant  
Chapter Four:  
Broken Branches**

By five o'clock I had finished my shift at the public library. Usually I would work another couple of hours, but Jaycie, a small, white haired woman that I had come to love, had come in early for her shift and told me to go on home.

"You sure, Jaycie?"

"Positive, Honey. It's looks like you've gotten more than your share of work done today."

"We haven't been that busy."

"We never are, Honey. But either way, go home and be with that beautiful boy of yours." Her wrinkled hand patted mine. "And that sexy husband."

"Jaycie!" I laughed.

She shrugged and walked behind the check out counter with a smile on her lips. She looked down at a couple of books that I hadn't put back on the shelves yet. I stood watching her and couldn't help but smile. I knew that whenever I became as old as she was, I wanted to be just like her. She was a beautiful, happy woman. She glanced up, wondering why I was still there. We stood in silence for a moment, her giving me a look that told me to leave.

"Well, if you're sure."

She waved me off with her small, pruny hand and I laughed.

"See you later, Jaycie."

I pulled my jacket on and headed for the door. I was surprised to see that it was still dry outside. The sky had darkened though, and I expected rain by the end of the night.

I glanced at my watch, glad to have an extra couple of hours. I needed to check in with Angela and stop by the grocery store.

Settled into the warm cab of my clunky truck, I started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. I headed towards Eternity Books, curious as to how things had worked out. We were expecting two shipments of books today, but the supplier we had ordered them from had a reputation of screwing things up. They weren't our first choice, but we had had some problems with our other supplier and needed to search elsewhere.

I pulled into the parking lot and got out, walking around to the door. I was hit with a sudden scent of pumpkin spice. Angela was sitting behind the counter, a book in her hands. She glanced up when I came through the door and let out a groan. I took this as a bad sign.

"What? What's wrong?"

"Well..." She started, standing up to blow out the candle she'd had on the counter. I didn't like candles being lit in here. Flames in a bookstore. Smart. "We have a few problems."

"Give me the good news first."

She looked at me like I was stupid.

"Um...well, we got both shipments."

I sighed. How bad was this going to be?

"And?"

"Okay, so we ordered a hundred copies of both _The Choice_ and _Tuesdays With Morrie_." I nodded. "Um, We got two hundred copies of _Tuesdays With Morrie_."

"Two hundred? How are we supposed to sell two hundred copies? That's ridiculous! Ordering a hundred was stupid enough on our part. I doubt we'd even be able to sell all of those!"

"I know, I know." She said, pulling her long brown hair up into a ponytail. "They also sent us fifty copies of _Dune_."

"_Dune_?"

"Yes, _Dune_."

"I don't even know what that is." I put my hands over my face, fighting the urge to growl into them. "What about _The Choice_?"

"None."

"They didn't even send us the one we ordered!?"

She shook her head.

I grabbed the phone quickly and told her to give me the number to the supplier. After having my call transferred two times and being put on hold three times, as well as a very angry and maddening conversation, I got them to agree to take back one hundred copies of _Tuesdays With Morrie_, send the one hundred copies of _The Choice_ like we'd ordered, and let us keep the other fifty books for free. I had learned how to be intimidating and persuasive when we first opened the store. At least on the phone, anyway.

Angela smiled and gave me a high five once I'd hung up the phone.

I realized that I had wasted an hour on those idiotic people and that I needed to leave. I had others things to do.

"We are never ordering from them again. No matter how desperate we are."

"Agreed."

"Okay, I need to go. I need to go to the grocery store and pick up Masen."

"Alright. See you later, Bella."

"Bye."

I heard her relight the candle as I walked out and inwardly groaned. When the store went up in flames, she'd be the one to pay for it.

I pulled out the cellphone that I had agreed to get after Mike's badgering, and dialed his number.

"Hello, gorgeous." He answered. I knew he was smiling.

"Hey, what do you want for dinner?"

"Ummm..."

I held the phone between my cheek and shoulder as I unlocked the door to my truck and got inside.

"How does lasagna sound?"

"Sounds delicious. Did you get off work early or something?"

"Yeah, Jaycie decided to come in early and made me leave."

"Are you okay? You sound upset."

"Bookstore crap. I'll tell you about it tonight."

"Alright."

"Listen, I'm gonna go now. I'm gonna head to the grocery store, then go pick Masen up."

"Okay. I love you and I'll see you in a little while."

"I love you too."

I flipped the phone shut and dropped it into the seat. I was appalled at people that talked on their cellphones while driving. It was dangerous and stupid. I started the engine and backed out, making a mental note of all the things I would need for the lasagna.

I made the trip to the grocery store quickly, getting all the things I needed, then hurried home. I sat the groceries on the table and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

I called Jake's house, but no one answered, so I tried his cell.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jake, where are you guys?"

"We're down at the beach. It was dry today, so I thought I'd bring him out."

"Okay, that's fine. Just be careful."

"You know we will be." He laughed.

"I got off early today, so just call when you want me to come and pick him up."

"He's enjoying slapping around in the sand. It's actually kind of funny to watch."

I could hear my son giggling in the background, followed by another one of Jacob's bellowing laughs.

"He's gonna be so dirty."

"Yeah....sorry about that."

"It's alright. Listen, I'm gonna go rest for a little bit before I start dinner. Just call when you want me to come and get him."

"Oh, that's alright. I'll take him home."

"You're amazing, Jake."

"You're welcome." He laughed, again.

We got off the phone and I decided to go lay down on the couch. I sat my water on the coffee table and took refuge in the over sized fluffy cushions. I wasn't planning to sleep, just to rest. I had been on my feet all day. I needed some comfortable time.

But soon, my eyes fluttered closed and I fell into a soft oblivion.

I dreamed that I was lost in a maze of bookshelves, searching for my son. Though I was surrounded by books, I was outside. The sky above me was dark and clouded, raindrops beginning to fall. I searched and searched, but I couldn't find him. Somewhere in the distance I heard the cry of a man. His voice calling out my name. I recognized the voice of the stranger, though I couldn't place it in my head. He continued to cry, and as his sobs got louder, the raindrops became thicker and the rain fell faster. The ground beneath my feet was pooling water, and as I pushed through two more rows of shelves, the water had reached my knees. Finally, at last, I saw Masen. He was sitting between two shelves, playing in the sand of the beach behind him. I tried to get to him, but as I got closer, the bookshelves began to fall, clattering down with large bangs and booms. I could still hear the cry of the unknown man in the background.

My eyes opened wide, at the noise of a loud banging. I sat up quickly, jumping to my feet. I ran to the door and opened it, finding Jacob and Masen. It was raining outside, a hard rain.

"Lord, Bella. I've been knocking forever."

"Sorry, I fell asleep on the couch."

He clambered inside, dropping Masen's bag onto a kitchen chair. I noticed the groceries that I hadn't put away.

"What time is it?"

"Just after seven."

I rubbed my hands over my eyes and through my hair, sighing.

"Would you care to take him upstairs and give him a bath? I really need to start dinner. Mike'll be here any minute."

"Alright." He said, pulling off my son's jacket. "What's for dinner?"

"Lasagna." His eyes lit up and I couldn't help but laugh. "You wanna stay?"

"Psssh....do I want to stay?" He smiled. I took that as a yes.

I grabbed a pot from a cabinet and filled it with water, then placed it on the stove for the noodles. I busied myself with preparing the meal, trying to get things done as quickly as possible. I made a little stop at the CD player that was sitting on the counter and turned on one my mixed CD's. A beautiful song by Iron & Wine came on. As I continued to cook, I couldn't help but dance around the kitchen a little. I knew that I ran the risk of Jake coming back downstairs and catching me, but honestly I didn't care. I tripped over the leg of a kitchen chair once or twice and almost dropped the pan of garlic bread, but I kept going. I moved around in a lonely waltz.

"Well look at that. Bella can dance."

I gasped and turned around quickly, falling right into the table. I hadn't heard Mike come in. As I looked up, my face heated up as I realized that I also hadn't heard my friend and my son come down the stairs.

Their laughter boomed throughout the house as they witnessed my clumsiness. I was utterly embarrassed.

Mike came over to kiss me. "I love the way you dance." He whispered.

My face felt like it was on fire. "It'll be done in just a minute."

He kissed my forehead then grabbed Masen from Jacob's arms and flopped a nasty kiss onto his forehead. Masen giggled.

Jake huffed, acting like he was left out.

"Well, I can kiss you too, if you really want." Mike suggested.

"I think I'm fine." He scrunched up his face in disgust.

"Okay, then."

I turned down the volume of the CD player until it was just background noise and began to set the table while the two men worked on getting Masen hooked into his high chair. I laughed as they fidgeted with the buckle, trying to force it in the wrong way.

"You'd think that after all this time, you guys would know how to do that right." I handed them the plates and napkins, letting them finish the table, as I buckled my son in correctly.

"They're goofy boys, aren't they?" I said in a baby voice, ruffling the small amount of hair on his round little head. He giggled. I loved it.

Dinner passed by with Jake feeding Masen, and everyone telling how their day had been. We laughed as he told stories of their time at the beach and laughed even harder when Masen threw a chunk of food in his face.

I told them of the mix up at the bookstore and Mike mentioned a girl that came into the store, griping because they didn't have any pink hiking boots.

When we had finished, the two men washed the dishes as I got my little boy ready for bed.

Afterwards, Jake said goodbye and headed on his way home. The rain was still coming down.

"I think I'm gonna go take a shower." I told Mike as he settled down in front of the television.

I made my way to the upstairs bathroom and grabbed a towel and washcloth from the closet. I started the water, making sure it was the right temperature, then quickly undressed. I stepped inside, wanting to feel the heat of the water.

I washed my hair and my body, and a few minutes later, I felt a gust of cold air as the shower curtain was pulled back. Mike stepped inside and wrapped his arms around me.

Somewhere outside, a loud pop racketed through the air. I jumped at the noise.

"What was that?" I asked, my eyes going wide.

"I don't know. It sounded like a tree branch breaking in half." He stepped back out of the shower and looked out the window. It was too dark to see anything. "It was probably just the wind or something."

He returned to my side underneath the stream of hot water and began massaging my shoulders. I moaned loudly as his hands worked out all the knots and kinks that had worked up during the day. His fingers worked miracles on my back and neck. I turned around to face him, kissing him hard. I felt his erection pressing into my skin and my knees suddenly felt weak.

"I love you so much." He whispered.

"I love you too, Mike."

He pulled me closer to him and pressed me to his body.

"You wanna get out?" He asked, his voice heavy with need.

I nodded and he stepped out to grab a towel. I turned off the water and pulled the shower curtain back. He wrapped the cloth around me and grabbed another to dry my hair a little. We dried ourselves off before our lips came together again and we headed towards the bedroom.

Another loud crack of a tree branch could be heard outside.

"We're getting a good storm, it seems."

I snuggled underneath the covers, goosebumps rising on my skin. Mike turned off the lights, then came to join me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me hard, a kiss that was filled with want and desperation. I leaned into him, sliding my legs between his. He caressed my skin with his fingertips, trailing soft touches down my stomach. I moaned as his middle finger slipped inside my body, working me with perfection. One of the advantages of being with someone for so long was that you learned what to do. You learned where to touch, how to move. You learned how to please.

My breathing became rough and ragged as he added another finger, his thumb working my clit. He pinched my hardened nipple between the fingers of his other hand. His lips were massaging my neck. My thighs began to quiver and my stomach tensed. I knew that it wouldn't be much longer before he led me into an orgasm.

When I tensed around his fingers and groaned loudly, he removed them and settled himself between my legs. I pulled him down and wrapped my arms around him as he pushed into me. My body was filled with pleasure. I could feel it everywhere.

Between my own pleasure and the sound of Mike's breathing, I realized how quiet it had become outside. There was no wind, no tree branches breaking. Just the rain.

For some reason, a reason that I couldn't place, the silence disturbed me.


	6. My Son

**Title (and meaning):  
**Le Coeur Vivant. (The Living Heart).

**Full Summary:**  
Edward Cullen fell in love with a human. He fell in love with Bella Swan. But the day he revealed himself to her completely, was the day that he realized how much he needed to leave her. He would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant hurting himself. So he left her in the meadow.  
Now, seven years later, he has lost a battle within himself. He did not want to go back to Forks. He did not want to see her in her new life. But his undead heart has gotten the better of him.  
How will the new, twenty four year old Bella react when the forever seventeen year old lover of her youth returns? And how will Edward deal with the fact that not only is Bella happy, but she's also a wife and a mother of a two year old son?  
And the biggest question of all arises; When a vampire is changed, can he ever be changed back?

**Disclaimer:**  
I am NOT Stephenie Meyer. Therefore, I do not own any of these characters. Unfortunately.

**My Rule:  
**We all know that most readers skip over stories with a low amount of reviews. So I have a rule when it comes to all of my stories.  
Three reviews or the next chapter is not posted. I don't do this to be mean, I just think it's nice. Reviews don't have to be mega long. A simple "I liked it" is good enough for me.

**Author's Note:  
**Hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and a fun New Year. :) If you haven't checked out my other story _The Words of Reality_ I'd really appreciate it if you would. It's Jacob/Edward.  
Thanks to the reviewers; GiniVampire, SkinShiver, PerkyTurkeyBaby, Mediana, ravens23fan, anniesam123, abigail-ann-cullen, and EdwardsKitten. Also a thanks to those that have added me/the story to your alerts/favorites list. I appreciate it very much.

**Review Replies:  
**None for this chapter. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you have them. I'll gladly answer. :)

LadyJezebel.

* * *

**Le Coeur Vivant  
Chapter Five:  
My Son**

When Bella had been dancing I had laughed quietly. When the group was eating, I watched carefully. This was what a real family looked like when they sat down to have dinner together. Plus Jacob. I still wasn't sure what was going on between him and Bella, but I quickly assumed that either Mike was completely oblivious or that Jacob was just their babysitter. I preferred the last idea over the first.

After they had finished everything downstairs and Jacob had left, I perched myself up in my tree, silent and still. I continued my sneaky voyeurism on Bella. I couldn't help myself. I ached to be a part of her life so much. Each glimpse that I caught was better, and worse, than the last. I knew I couldn't be there in Mike's place. But for the time being, I could at least watch and learn about her new life. I could learn what a normal life had given to my Bella.

So I sat. Even though breathing wasn't necessary, just a habit, I held my breath as I watched her undress again. My eyes never leaving her smooth, pale skin. Through the rain and all the barriers between us, I could only barely smell her. But the small lingering of her scent that met my nostrils was still just as beautiful, just as inviting as it had always been. I felt the venom in the back of my throat and new that if I planned to get any closer to her, that I would have to feed again. Did I plan to get closer to her?

I was considering this possibility as she stepped into the shower. The curtain hid her from my view and I cursed it. I sighed and let my head fall back against the truck of the large tree. I would just have to wait.

_Hope she doesn't scream like last time._

What? What was that? I listened closer to the mind of the man that lived inside the house. I tensed up, curious as to why Bella would be screaming. What was he going to do to her? Whatever it was, he'd done it before. Was Mike abusive? I didn't see any marks on her body. If he was hurting her somehow, I sure hoped Bella would be able to live without her husband.

My eyes were glued to him as he walked into the bathroom, his hands on the doorknob. Would those hands hurt Bella? I wasn't sure. I focused on his thoughts but was only met with a slew of images of her naked body pressed against his. I groaned.

After he undressed and began to step into the shower, I decided this was enough. I didn't want to see him in there with her. Both of them nude and enjoying each others company. I blocked out his mind so that his vulgar thoughts wouldn't come through and began descending down the tree. I guess I was concentrating too hard on the two humans and forgot my strength for a moment. A loud pop rang out into the falling rain as a tree branch broke beneath my grip. Did they hear? Of course they did.

_What the hell was that?_

I let that thought slip through as he stepped out of the shower and looked out the window. Her head poked out from behind the shower curtain, curious. Fuck. I leaned back against the tree as much as I could, trying to make sure that I was deep in shadow. It would be hard for him to see out into the night with house lights on, but I didn't want to chance it. I stayed as still and silent as I could.

I relaxed when he stepped back into the shower. I was more concerned with being caught in that moment than I was about him being naked with her. I stayed where I was in the tree, afraid to move until they were gone.

A little while later, Mike stepped out of the shower again. This time he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself. I saw her, beautiful and wet as she stepped out and he wrapped another one around her body, hiding her from me. He ran another one through her dripping hair and kissed her lips. My grip tightened on a branch as I watched this. I didn't care this time. They walked out of the bathroom and towards their bedroom. I knew what was going to take place on that fucking bed tonight.

Another loud crack filled the air and this time it was purely on purpose. I felt the brance splinter beneath my fingers and I enjoyed it, imagining it was Mike's ribcage.

I dropped from the tree, not wanting to bare witness to the act that only I should share with her. That should have been me in that shower, me running the cloth through her hair, me leading her into the bedroom. But I gave all that up.

I ran through the night, drenched in rain, searching for a scent that appealed to me. Further into the trees, I spotted a buck and I lunged at it, sinking my teeth into its fur. I could taste the wild flavor over my tongue, the warmth sinking down my throat.

I hunted a little more, taking my time. I would go back to the house when I was finished. I wanted to make sure that all the action in their bedroom was over by the time I returned. Even though I wasn't really happy with everything that was going on, I knew that I must go back. At least while I was still in Forks, I would remain to watch over the house at night. They had been safe for this long, but there are always dangers out there, waiting. I would make sure that none of them touched her.

I stalked around the house quietly, making sure everything was okay. Mike and Bella were asleep now, but I blocked his thoughts anyway. I would rather not be inside his head while he dreamed.

I climbed up into the tree outside the baby's window. I watched him sleep for a little while, his soft baby cheeks a translucent color beneath the moons shine. His little fists were clenched, resting on the mattress of his baby bed. After about and hour and half, his small eyelids fluttered open and he looked around. Quickly, he raised up and crawled to the end of the bed. His hands gripped the wooden frame and he climbed up, slipping his chubby legs over the top.

Could all babies do that or was this one just an escape artist in the making?

Before he could even touch his feet to the floor, I slid across a tree branch and opened his window. I kicked my shoes off and dropped them to the ground so that I wouldn't leave any traces of the rainy night inside his room. I would need to get new clothes tomorrow.

I slipped into his room quietly and, making sure to be extra careful, I placed my hands around his tiny waist and pulled him to me. He didn't make a sound, just jerked his head around in surprise.

"Hey little buddy." I whispered to him.

He was beautiful. His skin the color of Bella's. He had Mike's hair and face shape, but his big brown eyes were from his mother.

I walked over, my feet slipping across the hardwood floor, and settled down into the wooden rocking chair that sat in the corner. The little boy attempted to crawl down onto the floor, but I pulled him back up and sat him in my lap. I didn't want him to wake Bella up and he was a lot safer here in my arms than roaming around the house. I hoped.

He turned around and his gaze locked itself onto my face. He didn't look scared, just curious. I suddenly realized how cold my skin was against his and pulled a blanket off the changing table that sat nearby. I wrapped it around him and he cooed. His chubby little fist wrapped around my index finger and I looked down at our hands. His was so small, so warm. Mine was like stone. But he didn't care. He just squeezed as hard as he could, as if he knew that he couldn't hurt me and was just testing it out.

I wanted so badly for this. For exactly this. To be the man that got up in the middle of the night to attend to his infant son. The one that sat in the rocking chair, holding him close as his eyes closed and his breathing fell into a soft routine. I would have given anything to change a dirty diaper or have food thrown in my face like Jacob had.

I wanted a son. A child. I wanted this little boy, whatever his name was.

He held onto my finger with his left hand and his right hand came up to slap against my cheek. I chuckled softly and placed a kiss onto his warm palm. He watched me closely, then buried his face into the blanket that was wrapped around him. I stuck out my tongue and crossed my eyes, making him giggle loudly.

A moment later, I heard a thump from Bella's room. I glanced around the room and noticed a baby monitor. One of them had heard his laugh.

I planted him softly in his crib and quickly retreated back out onto the tree, closing the window behind me. I ducked into the darkness, making sure I couldn't be seen, and watched a sleep engrossed Bella walk into the room, her hair a mess, wrapped in a silk robe. She stumbled over to the crib and laid him down, patting his stomach softly. She stayed for a few minutes, humming a tune I'd never heard. When she thought he was asleep, she retreated back to her own room.

As soon as she left, the little boy stood up in his crib facing the window, and looked out into the darkness. It was as if he knew I was still out here, waiting. When I was sure she wouldn't come back, I slipped back inside and cradled him in my arms, the blanket back around him. I continued humming the unknown song in his ear as I rocked him back and forth in the chair.

For a months, I continued to do this. I slipped into his bedroom every night, watching him grow, and hummed him the soft tune until his eyes fluttered closed and his breathing fell into a soft routine.

For the time being, I imagined he was my son.


End file.
